Defining a Hug

When Child Number One was a wee little tot he fashioned his own definition of *HUG*.  If the embrace he was receiving wasn’t what up to his standards he would blatantly say, “Only two arms make a hug.”  We always thought it was the sweetest, most innocent way of describing the physicality of an embrace.  However, during one of those nights my brain wouldn’t quiet down I came to understand what he was really trying to articulate using the limited language capabilities of a toddler.  It wasn’t the “two arms” element we heard through adult ears that was his fundamental message.  Our precious son was simply trying to open our hearts to the realization that a real hug, a true hug is when he had ALL aspects of our attention, ALL of our positive energy, ALL of our calming abilities surrounding him at that living instant.  Then, and only then, did he feel he was genuinely hugged. 

Not long ago his definition came to the forefront of my mind when I discovered a new trend in parenting which challenges parents to let their child end a hug first; allow the child to decide when to let go.  It is a lesson in living simply, being present in the moment, and giving your child the attention s/he deserves.  As a result of relinquishing this parenting control myself, I have felt an immeasurable wave of peacefulness.  It gives me the ultimate opportunity to live in a priceless moment and leave it with imprinted memories of my son that would otherwise have gone unnoticed.  His scent, the texture of his hair, the silkiness of his skin, the beating of his heart, all the magnificent, quiet pieces of my beautiful son.  I will forever treasure it all.