Tales From The Food Crypt

A few days ago I was going through our freezers taking inventory of *what lies beneath*.  It wasn’t exactly planned, but I found myself diving headfirst into our basement freezer chest, a.k.a. The Food Crypt.  About a decade ago, give or take a year, I had entombed a zippered freezer bag containing a number of skinned overripe bananas.  Initially this was my resourceful way of conceal them not to admit squander from my non food wasting husband.  See, there is like a fraction of a second in the life of a banana where they are not too green or too brown, where they are still firm yet sweet, and if you have a bunch of them this all happens at one time and you find yourself with five bananas that need to be consumed in 2.5 seconds.  Anyhoo, when I would randomly find said freezer bag I would add to it or take from it a banana or two.  The taking part started with smoothies.  They were super yummy, super messy to make (getting out the blender, frozen berries, ice, yogurt, honey, milk,…), super expensive to make (note the ingredient list), and in the end, my kids refused to consume more than a taste so I would declare it Mum’s Smoothie Day and end up with a bad stomach ache.  Next was mushy banana ice cream.  You know, the modest effort, low fat, one ingredient banana ice cream wanna be.  Again, a major NOT GONNA HAPPEN with the two wee ones.  And Mum can only eat so many banana flavored ice crystals before frozen brain sets in.  So now what?  I have three cryo-preserved elderly bananas needing to be utilize.  What comes to mind?  Chocolate Chip Banana Bread.  And a quick internet search found an easy recipe of which I had all the ingredients for.  So, bada bing bada boom, I threw together one loaf of yummy, gooey, chocolate chip banana bread sending heavenly scents throughout our little home.  I made a few substitutions, like a bit of brown sugar for white to make it gooier, and adding some freshly ground nutmeg to compliment the loads of cinnamon.  After the smoke cleared… oh yeah the smoke.  Not a big deal, the mixture just kept oozing over the sides of the breadpan onto the floor of our oven, noted for next time, so I put a cookiesheet underneath.  Also noted was the need to implement better time management as the end of the school day for child number one was timed painfully close to the end of required baking time.  But once we returned home from picking up Number One, the heavenly spiced aroma of freshly baked bread had laid a path to the kitchen for innocent noses to follow.  I said, “You both have a choice, you may have two pieces of Halloween candy or one slice of this bread.”  Without a second of hesitation both immediately answered, “BREAD.”  And the praises I received after they consumed the first of my experimental banana bread, well, I felt like queen for the day.  Later on when given the same choice, both again chose bread OVER HALLOWEEN CANDY.  Who were these children?  What kid would eat bananas from The Food Crypt over a handful of plain M&M’s? 

Let me just finish with this little bit, the bread is long gone.  It lasted about two days, or so, however, the Halloween candy is still sitting on the kitchen counter in an untouched pasta bowl.  In the meantime, we’ve gone through one batch of my mom’s famous chocolate chip cookies, a completely homemade pumpkin cake glazed with homemade vanilla frosting, amazing amounts of Haralson apples, and oodles of tiny purple grapes (note the post, The Feathered, Glittery, Pink Potty Tiara Day).  And that candy, well, it still sits, and sits… waiting to be eaten.